19 Truths I Discovered at 19 Years Old
1) All roads should lead to God
Jesus is the centre of it all.
It’s so funny because I never thought I’d use this instance to describe this truth but God works in mysterious ways and sometimes you just need to go with the flow.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a very heated argument with one of my friends and I remember going home and writing in my journal “ God why do my conversations with people always get so heated? what is wrong with me?” The Holy Spirit immediately spoke to me as clear as day saying, “It is because you are speaking to them with the intention of trying to prove that you are right now because you are trying to draw them closer to me” WOW. I know. I was speechless, I tried arguing (again lol) saying no, those were not my intentions but after searching my heart, I found that to be true. Whilst I am still trying to get the hang of this principle, it highlighted a golden rule I had started the year with but had lost sight of, due to the chaos of everyday living. All roads should, in fact, lead to God. This ‘golden rule’ doesn’t just apply to you trying to win souls for Christ but it also applies to your everyday living. You should live your life with the intention of bringing God’s glory down on earth so, as it is in Heaven, it will be on earth.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17
2) If it does not honour God, it gotta go
I had to ask myself a lot of times this year; will I give this up for God? If my answer was no, then that thing had to go. Not because that thing or person was bad, but because I had essentially made it/ them a god in my life. When I say “gotta go” I don’t mean it needs to be cut off or taken out of your life, though in some extreme cases yes(If your right-hand causes you to sin, cut it off), however, I mean that you need to reevaluate your priorities. If you are holding on to something and cannot give that thing up to serve God, i.e instead of going to church, you spend all night face timing a guy/ girl and are unable to wake up early for church or you’re out all night clubbing, or instead of worshipping God, you listen to grime all day every day, then you need to stop for a second and realise that that thing or person has taken the place of God in your life and it needs to be dethroned.
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? Matthew 16:26
3) Relationship with God is not a feeling it’s a choice
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PRAYERS HAVE GONE UNSAID BECAUSE WE SIMPLY DIDN’T “FEEL LIKE IT”???
The ignorance in the statement “I will pray/worship/read my bible when I feel like it” is honestly NOT bliss because it leaves you in that very state of despair that you are complaining about. I have been a Christian all my life as I was born into a Christian family. I, however, did not fully develop my own personal relationship with Christ until I stopped this “feel like it” behaviour because, the truth is that if I only prayed when I felt like it, I’d probably pray once a month and that will probably be when disaster has already stricken. For all you fitfam members, you probably already know that you can never get fit or lose weight if you only eat healthily or go to the gym when you feel like it, it’s the same in a relationship with God. Unfortunately, many of us don’t understand that our relationship with God doesn’t come ‘naturally’ simply because Adam and Eve already broke that bond with us and God through their act of sin. However, Jesus has come to redeem us and restore us to our right nature, walking with God, but you can only be restored if you choose Jesus. Choosing Jesus means choosing to pray when you’re really lazy and all you want to do is sleep, choosing Jesus means choosing to go to church or watch a sermon when all you want to do is Binge watch GOT, choosing God is choosing to read your bible when having 100+ messages to reply. Choose Jesus, don’t wait till you “feel like it”, choose him because he already chose you. The more you choose to praise God, the more you feel like praising him.
4) I am not of this world, I am of a chosen generation
To be called is to be set apart... You are not like others so you should not try to be, why are you trying to fit in when God already said you are different?
I talk a lot about this in my Identity Crisis series ( scroll below). It is essential for you to know your identity. If you are not of this world, you are not subject to the trends of this world, the rules of this world because you do not answer to anything or anyone in this world. You are accountable to Christ alone. Do not be swayed by the talk of this world because as quickly as night turns to day, so does the talk of this world change. God’s word never changes, it is relevant yesterday, today and forever and as you are of God’s nation, act like you are.
If you are not of this world, how can you apply worldly wisdom to your life and expect Heavenly blessings? This is a VERY important concept to understand.
While worldly wisdom may seem “wise”, it has no firm foundation. In Matthew 7:24-27, the house that was NOT built on the rock stood high and appeared magnificent alongside the house built on rock but when the rains came, the house was washed away, why? because it’s foundation was not strong. This is the same as worldly wisdom, while it may appear to be reasonable and intelligent, when struggles, trials and quite frankly the reality of life hits, this wisdom takes you know where. Build your life on God’s solid rock and watch as you are able to stand through all life throws at you because of your firm foundation.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
5) Opinions don’t matter…. but sometimes they do
This is probably the hardest truth I learnt this year. Opinions matter based on who it’s coming from and that’s why one of my other truths is about the people you surround your self with. Once in a while, it is important to sit down and take constructive criticism because this is one of the only ways you can see where you need to work on. It is important to have older friends and friends who are like-minded who can give you advice and check you when you’re doing wrong.
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. Proverbs 15:31
6)Convictions come at God’s time, not yours. Do not judge
Christian Brothers and Sisters,
STOP TRYING TO TELL OTHERS WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG.
Work out your own salvation.
While is it important to give Godly counsel and advice to people especially when you see them straying away. It has never been your place to condemn another and tell then what is and isn’t. This is a hard reality that I too have had to come to terms with. Yes, there are some things that are written in the bible in black and white as sins i.e the 10 commandments but there are other things that are not as plainly written i.e drinking. It is not your place to call out another Christian and say “ You are a sinner because you do XYZ”. The Holy Spirit does that, please take a sit. The fact is, WE ARE ALL SINNERS in our own right but Christ has died for us and taken that weight of sins, past, present and future. Though this doesn’t mean you continue living in sin and though Grace is sufficient, it will never leave you the same, it also doesn’t mean you should go around pointing out who is the bigger sinner. The Holy Spirit convicts, The Devil condemns. Don’t try and change people and please do not judge them.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Luke 6:37
7)The Importance of meaningful friendships
Dear Millennials, stop counting your friends by the number of people you “hang with” or are in your group chat or I know this is ridiculous but just in case some of you don’t know, STOP COUNTING YOUR FRIENDS BY THE NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!
We need to redefine the word ‘friendship’. I actually stumbled across this definition; “friendship is the state of mutual trust and support between allied nations”. Though this is probably in relation to allies, I think it should be the foundation of true friendships. We need to start realising who our friends are and who our acquaintances are.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
8)The Importance of Unity
This is very important on three levels; unity with yourself, unity with those you surround yourself with and unity in relationships.
Recently, I found that the 'me' I was presenting to some people was different from the 'me' I presented to others and that wasn’t necessarily because I was trying to keep up appearances but because even within myself, I was not sure who I wanted to be. The struggle between who you desire to be and who everyone around you wants you to be is very real and it often causes so much confusion in one’s life. It’s high time we chose one and stuck with it. In friendships, it is very easy to be friends with people just because they are convenient and not because you actually see eye to eye on fundamental things. I have had so many people say to me, “I just don’t feel like my friends get me”, “I am not comfortable with them” and honestly, I have found myself saying these as well. The reason is that we are hoping into close friendships with people who don’t even have the same ideals as us and somewhere along the line this is going to backfire. Most importantly, however, we need to be in unity with whoever we decide to date, we need to date purposefully, choosing a girl or boy who is likeminded in some core beliefs such as faith and sees a future in your relationship otherwise, what are you doing? Don’t hop into a relationship with any Femi, Tunde and Bolaji or any Rasheedat, Rakiyah and Aisha that comes your way, be purposeful in your dating.
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Amos 3:3
9)Never settle for less
The number of times I have said this but still done it is unbelievable. Don’t settle for less, find out what your worth ( Check out the Self Worth Post) and just don’t settle. Don’t settle for mediocre relationships, friendships, grades, career path e.t.c, You can have SO MUCH MORE.
The thief cometh not but to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10
10) What is the use of cutting people off?
This is very tricky.
I think that everyone deserves a million and one chances if they are trying and you are united in your goal. However, if you are not headed in the same direction and that person is pulling you down more than lifting you up, seek Godly counsel concerning your decision and if you feel peace in yourself and with the Holy Spirit, let go. You can never have better if you hold onto whatever you are holding on to.
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2
11)Forgiveness is for you
Don't accept God's grace for yourself and rob others of it because all you end up doing is robbing yourself of freedom and God's blessings. When you don't forgive you hold yourself back, your peace is limited and your soul is not at ease. No one is perfect, we are all a work in progress, forgive others so that God can forgive you.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew: 14-15
12)Altruism does more to your heart than it does for others
Learn to serve others, remove yourself from the middle and be selfless. It makes my day when I am able to make someone else's day and it helps free my heart from hatred and anger.
Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out
from the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. Isaiah 58:10
13)There is room in Heaven for you and I
Starting this website was a very difficult decision for me to make and it’s been an even harder decision for me to stay dedicated to it, simply because it is so easy to compare myself with others. But there is room in Heaven for you and I. We are all running different races, even if sometimes it seems similar i.e we both have websites that have to do with God, we are still called to different specific fields, we are still touching different hearts and are ultimately called to different purposes. This fits right in with my post on comparison ( scroll down), just remember no two are the same.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. Galatians 6:4-5
14) It is not too much for God to handle; It's never too far gone for God to restore
There is absolutely nothing that happens to you that God cannot handle. Understand this; nothing comes as a shock to God, when something happens in your life, God doesn’t go to the angles saying“ Oh my gosh, i.e Person A just got cancer, wow Angel Gabriel, this is a tough one, what do we do??” Erm no, not at all. He sees the end from the beginning so he is not surprised by any circumstance or situation that takes place. So, lean into him, don’t be afraid to tell God how you truly feel about situations, you can’t overwhelm God with your problems, he is not man. There is no mistake you make that God cannot work out for your good, no broken relationship that God cannot mend, no dire situation that God cannot turn around. With God, hope truly does spring eternal
"I am the LORD, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
15)Your dreams should scare you if not you are not dreaming big enough
What is the point of dreaming the possible when you can dream the impossible? Forget the stats, remember the truth. God’s word is the way the truth and the light and his word says everything is possible through Christ who strengthens you. Quit dreaming the mediocre, quit settling for less and start taping into the greatness God has already said is yours.
Now glory be to God, by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of — infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. Ephesians 3:2
16) It’s okay to lack, God fills the gap
This is one of the most amazing things I have held dearly to my heart this year. We all lack something, be it in finances, relationships, internally, in families e.t.c. We all have some need and that is okay. It's not okay in the sense that you should not be comfortable with your lack, however, you are not alone in lacking and you should never feel ashamed of the fact. As youths, it is normal for us to lack financially and when I say lack, honestly this is mainly in comparison to another person. Firstly don’t even play that comparison game because it’s very dangerous, however, I know that someone reading this, without the game of comparison, is going through some financial struggle and you know what? It’s okay because you are not alone. A million of us out here are going through the same thing but what you must understand is that God is a God of the gaps. God is your provider in every need that you have. I, however, don’t just believe that God fills only financial gaps, I believe God can fill all gaps. God can fill the gap of a loved one i.e He can be the father or mother or any loved one that you lost. God can be your best friend, he sure as hell as been mine in the last few months and I am more than certain he can be the same for anyone going through a period of loneliness. He is your husband/wife until you get one, he is your boyfriend/ girlfriend. Whatever void you have in your life, God can bridge that gap
The Lord is my shepherd: I shall lack nothing. Psalm 23:1
17)Sacrifice is better than Regret
This applies to every area of your life. It is better to sacrifice a chocolate bar for a diet than to regret it when you look at yourself in the mirror. It is better to sacrifice a few parties for study than to regret your grades on results day. It is better to sacrifice that fit boy or girl who is not even what you’re looking for in a partner, for temporary loneliness than to regret the heartbreak that comes when the break up occurs. Ultimately, it is better to forgo that temporary moment of pleasure for holiness than to live with the guilt that comes with sin. The pain of regret is far worse than the pain of discipline.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1
18)Pain is inevitable but there is purpose
In this life, there will be pain, simply because this is not God's Kingdom. While we as followers of Christ can bring Heaven down on Earth, pain still exists in the world because God has not come down to reign yet. It was never promised in the Bible or by God that you will not face hardships, in fact, he highlights that indeed you will but, he also states that he will work everything out for the good of those who love him. Not every pain has an obvious purpose but you can choose God's perspective and see how he will work it all for your good. And, ultimately, the way you embrace your pain, persevere and overcome it, determines who you will be when it's all over and whether or not you will be well equipped to step into God's purpose for your life. Your pain can never take God's purpose away but it can cause you to lose sight of it. Be steadfast, lean into him for strength and comfort through your pain. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
Resist him ( the Devil), firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:9-10
19)Tears are to be shed
Life is tough, cry if you need to.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17
It has been amazing watching how these truths have made me who I am today as I turn 19. They have and are still helping me grow and I pray they help you too , my dear reader. Thank you for coming along this journey with me in the last few months. 19 is going to be bigger, brighter and better.