Okay let me be honest, these last few weeks, especially the last few days I have been being kind of ( KIND OF) a whiny, complainy, ungrateful daughter of God.
And today, I just got a conviction.
It's funny because I have been going to church and the theme has been about the privilege of being a daughter of God and I have keyed into it and been having conversations with my friends about it in terms of their lives. But in mine? I didn't really grasp the concept for myself, I mean I KNOW I am privileged as a child of God because I am promised Peace, Mercy, Joy, Salvation, the list is endless but have I been acting like I know or better still, have I been acting like I am grateful for the privilege? erm, no, not at all actually.
Lately in God's presence, I will whine, cry, complain, talk about how overwhelmed I am, how scared I am, anxious, how crazy I feel because I believe in him blah blah blah blah blah. I will do everything but Rejoice and Bless the Lord with my Soul as David tells us to do. And even when I did it wasn't genuine, it was just so I could stop listening to the slower worship songs that make me tear up in the library and instead listen to the more upbeat ones so I could at least get my work done.
As I prayed each time I will ask God for strength, strength to believe, strength to stay the path, strength to wait on the promise. BUT, I will stay in my place of weakness, constantly dwell on how impossible it seems, how unlikely it may be and quite frankly, throw a pity party for myself and invite anyone who had the ears to listen.
But today, about 30 minutes ago actually, ( after the stirring up through various conversations with my friends) I was like ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I will BLESS THE LORD OH MY SOUL AND I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.
Many of us, God is waiting on us and we think we are the one's waiting on God. And this is because while we are busy whining, complaining, throwing pity parties, being scared and anxious, God is like, okay Angels, when she/he begins to praise my name, pour down my blessings. Essentially, your pessimistic state of mind and posture is the only thing hindering God from moving on your behalf.
You can read the Bible everyday, watch sermons every hour, constantly play the latest Hillsong Album or tune into Praise and Worship Jam sessions BUT, if you don't make up your mind within yourself that enough is enough, you are not moving anywhere.
This is a letter to myself as much as it is a letter to anyone reading this, you have to say enough is enough.
How many more nights will you cry yourself to sleep ?
How many more times will you complain to everyone and anyone around you ?
How many more sessions will you spend in God's presence complaining about what he didn't do/hasn't done /isn't doing ??
Will you Shut Up and Bless the Lord ?
You are privileged to be alive
You are privileged to have clothes to wear and food to eat EVEN IF YOU ARE BROKE RIGHT NOW.
You are privileged to go to school EVEN IF EXAM SEASON IS OVERWHELMING
You are privileged to have a promise for God EVEN IF THE WAIT IS LONG .
YOU ARE PRIVILEGED SO , ACT LIKE IT , PRAISE HIM FOR IT AND REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!