Moving On: Broken Expectations

This is a personal entry, more for myself than it is for you but hey, why not share right ?

So, I’m going to go straight into it.

Broken Expectations are one of the worst pains you can ever experience. This is mainly because it takes a lot of courage to have expectations in the first place. When you let yourself expect, you’re jumping off a plane, so, to then figure out that your parachute isn’t going to work, after you’ve already jumped, is brutal to your soul.

This is what happens to us in almost every aspect of our lives. In our relationships with friends, lovers and family, in our everyday interactions with people and life but, most importantly in our everyday interactions with God.

I’m not going to specify which I’m talking about because all pain iS pain, all broken expectations are still broken so , if it speaks to you, dear reader, let it speak to you.

When you put your trust in something or someone, it is hard to find your footing when they let you down. ( A quick note here- If someone let you down, they let you down. Stop beating yourself up and feeling guilty for being let down). Okay moving on, its hard to get back up and trust or hope again when you already jumped once and you ended up with a broken leg or even a broken heart. This can be extremely painful especially when you feel so strongly that you made the right, informed decision when you jumped.

It’s easier for me to get back up when I broke my bones as a result of a wrong decision but, when I made the right call, when I did what I was rightly supposed to do, it’s very hard to reconcile that right decision with my broken outcome.

And thats where I find myself today. On the other side of all the right decisions but with the outcome of a broken leg, arm, a few teeth here and there and of course a broken heart. Okay okay, I’m done with the broken bone analogy but you get my point ?

Truthfully, as I write this, I am not 100% sure how to reconcile broken expectationS, this is more of a diary entry than a “ 20 things I learnt this year'“ perspective post. But, this is what I would say,

Romans 8:28“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Paul writes in Philippians 1 , from a prison cell I might add, he says, what the Devil intended for harm, God will use for good. This is my steadfast hope; that my current season of navigating through broken expectations is not my permanent season.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Many a-times stay stuck in a moment, we allow these moments become definitive in our lives, not positively but negatively. If thats you dear reader, don’t worry you’re not alone. Today however, lets make a positive definitive decision to move on and take whatever it takes to do so.

I am currently writing from a coffee shop in Kenilworth in the early hours of the morning. Writing this is my decision to move on. Yes, I made the right call and yes, everything ended up right where I didn’t want it to and feared against BUT, this too shall pass. And, though I said I wouldn’t say the source of my broken expectations, I will do so now.

My expectations were broken by the love of my life; God himself. Did/Does it hurt ? Yes. Do I understand ?No, but what is my foundation if I give up on him now? What was my love for him if I renounce my faith now? Should I take good from God and not also take ‘bad’. Bad here is in inverted commas because I know deep down in the roots of my foundation that great is my reward to come STILL because, God, yes this same God who broke my expectations, works EVERYTHING out for my good.

So, I speak to you today, whoever is reading this, DON’T GIVE UP NOW, don’t stop jumping now. Jump off the plane, jump off the mountain, jump into the ocean. Just Jump.

Broken Bones And Broken Hearts Heal So, Lets Hold Hands And Jump Together.

Love Always,

Motunrayo